What to Do After a Breakup: First-Aid Steps for Today
Not therapy; informational support only. If you're in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. If you suspect abuse, use a safe device and check trusted hotlines/resources first.
Immediate Steps Today: A Simple First-Aid Checklist
When everything feels raw, do tiny, physical, doable things:
If that's all you can manage today, it's enough.
Calm the Body: 60-Second Resets You Can Repeat
The 4-4-8 breath (×5)
Inhale 4 • hold 4 • exhale 8. The longer exhale cues your nervous system to settle.
5-4-3-2-1 grounding
Name 5 things you see • 4 feel • 3 hear • 2 smell • 1 taste. Keep your eyes moving around the room.
Cold-to-warm reset
Cool water on wrists/face → towel dry → warm drink in both hands. Signals "safe enough" to your body.
How the bot helps: type "panic reset" or "ground me for 60 seconds" and follow along.
Stop the Spiral: Overthinking, Checking, and Cravings
If you're looping ("What if…", "Why didn't…")
- Dump the loop into chat word-for-word.
- The bot will slow the pace, reflect back, and help you pick one tiny next step.
If you want to check their Instagram/DMs
- Say it out loud in chat: "I want to look."
- Do a 2-minute urge surf (breath + grounding).
- Swap the action: put the phone down, take 10 steps, then come back and tell the bot how it felt.
If you're drafting a message
- Paste it into chat for a reality check and gentle edits — or to decide not to send.
Sleep & Eating Basics for the First Week
- Same wake time every day (even if sleep was rough).
- Front-load calories earlier; simple foods beat no food.
- Night routine: phone on Do Not Disturb, out of reach; light stretch or warm shower; tell the bot "night check-in."
- If you wake up spiraling: 4-4-8 ×5, then type three sentences in chat about what's loud in your head.
Boundaries & No-Contact: Mute/Block and Avoid Relapse
No-contact helps many people stabilize; it's not a game to make them chase.
- Mute/block socials and messaging; archive threads; remove shortcuts.
- Micro-commitment: "For the next 24 hours, I won't contact or check." Renew daily.
- Limited Contact (LC) if you must coordinate kids/work: logistics-only, brief, scheduled windows.
Learn more: No-Contact Rule — Timeline & Reset Plan
If you slip and text: breathe, debrief in chat, repair the environment, and recommit to 24 hours.
Today's Mini Plan (Save It in Chat)
Paste any of these to the bot:
- "I'm spiraling. Slow me down."
- "Help me plan tonight so I don't text."
- "Do a 2-minute urge surf with me."
- "Mute/block checklist — walk me through it."
- "I feel so lonely. Can I vent?"
Scripts You Can Practice (When Words Won't Come)
Ask a friend for support
"Hey, it's a rough day. Could we do a check-in later? I don't need advice — just a friendly voice."
Decline a conversation you're not ready for
"I'm not able to talk about us right now. I'll reach out if/when I'm ready."
Limited-contact (logistics-only)
"For [topic], please email me. I'll reply by [time window]."
The bot can help trim tone, keep it neutral, and rehearse replies so you don't over-explain.
If you're worried about safety, read: Abuse Signs & Safe Exit Plan
When to Ask for Extra Help
- Sleep/eating are worsening after ~2 weeks.
- Urges feel unmanageable every night.
- Work/school functioning is crashing.
- Thoughts of self-harm or you feel unsafe.
What to do: talk to a trusted person; consider licensed care; use hotlines/resources if there's any risk. The bot is here to keep you company in the moment and help you take one small step.
Accessibility & Safety Notes
- Not therapy; not a crisis line. If you're unsafe, use local hotlines/services first.
- Use private browsing and a safe device if someone may monitor you.
You don't have to white-knuckle this alone.